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He’s Embarrassed, So He’s Going to Charge You $600 Million

Posted by Rick · October 2nd, 2003 · 8 Comments

George Bush just can’t get enough—of your money.

Since the fall of the Hussein government, the failure to find evidence of illegal weapons has been a major political embarrassment for the Bush administration. – “Officials Say Bush Seeks $600 Million to Hunt Iraq Arms,” New York Times, October 2, 2003.

This, as the article points out, is on top of the $300 million already spent in the unsuccessful hunt for these weapons. For goodness sake, man, we know you couldn’t immediately plant the weapons without looking suspicious. But couldn’t you just get it over with now?

On the other hand, think of the possibilities! Eventually, the Bush Administration could make the following announcement:

“Today, the Bush Administration announced that they have finally found weapons of mass destruction. Although many people suspect that these weapons of mass destruction were planted, the Administration says, “If we were going to plant weapons, we would have done it sooner. Why would we waste $900 million-plus tax dollars on a pretend search? Why would we have endured criticism for so long?”

There are, of course, two explanations for why this could happen, when it does happen:

  1. It’s very difficult to plant weapons on a suspect while others may be watching. If a cop shoots an un-armed suspect in an alley and then plants a gun on the body, he does not do it while he thinks he’s being watched. There are some honest people in Iraq—American men and women included—who might reveal the trick; the Administration has to be very careful about this. [Note: I do not believe that cops routinely plant weapons on un-armed people they’ve shot in alleys. Please do not think I intend here to malign the police. We do know there have been cases where this happens and I’m simply pointing out that if/when it does, it’s not something the perpetrator wants to do while being observed by honest people.]
  2. Many people will believe the President when he tells us these weapons have finally been found specifically because of the money and time that has been expended. Just as my so-far-only-imagined speech above notes, they will say, when the time comes, “If he was going to plant those things, he wouldn’t have wasted all our money first and endured all that criticism.”

Consider this: Enduring the criticism will be less painful if the weapons are found closer to the election. If they are found right now, the impact on voters will be less significant in 2004; if they are found not long before the election, the Democrats will be caught off guard again and the election will likely be a rout.

As to the argument about wasted money, this administration doesn’t view spending our tax dollars on a war for Oil & Revenge to be waste. It is an investment. Halliburton, Bechtel and Worldcom will absolutely guarantee the President and his cronies that those no-bid contracts and $9000 dollar cell phones will be worth the few hundred billion of “somebody else’s money” which will eventually be spent.

I just wonder if this announcement will be made with the usual pouty-face reserved for when the President knows no thinking person could help but doubt his righteousness and integrity over what he is saying. (This is why we see it more and more these days.)

It’s hard to know if the President would actually be as brazen as I’ve outlined above. With some of the things that have been said and done so far, it does not seem to be “outside the pale.” Given the current refusal of the majority of voters to even ask questions, it may not be necessary.

At any rate, if this speech ever comes, remember: I tried to warn you.

Categories: The Man Who Would Be President


8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Bob // Oct 2, 2003 at 11:09 am

    OK kids, have fun with this but play nice…


  • 2 Bob // Oct 2, 2003 at 3:02 pm

    Our enery woes are over!


  • 3 Erik // Oct 2, 2003 at 3:03 pm

    I can’t beleive you are quibbling over millions. The game is no-limit global poker…$600 million is the ante.

  • 4 Bob // Oct 2, 2003 at 3:44 pm

    Apparently, the entire country reads your blog.


  • 5 Rick // Oct 2, 2003 at 5:22 pm

    Well, I ask you to tell me truthfully, have you EVER EVER EVER seen that face outside of either a sitcom or a cartoon before now?

  • 6 Rick // Oct 2, 2003 at 5:44 pm

    As to the global poker comment from Erik, I wouldn’t mind so much if he were playing with his own money and his own life.

    No doubt that pouty face could stop a thousand ICBMs. Or, at least, I’d sure like to see it try. 😉

  • 7 Erik // Oct 6, 2003 at 1:57 pm

    You are right Rick, he isn’t playing with his money…or life. But he is indeed gambling high stakes…I would say he has lost huge pots $70 billion in one round, $87 billion in another….eventually someone should lean over to him and whisper “time to go home Georgy, you’ve had enough” to which, the pouty look says “but but but…I am just getting started!” …”NO! thats ENOUGH Georgy, you are done!”…”Bad Georgy!”

    He is gambling. AND he is just getting started.


  • 8 lovebug // Oct 11, 2003 at 3:37 am

    It is fine. I want to give all of my hard earned money to taxes so they can go out and hunt their “shadowy WMD’s:”

    WMD= Where’s My Democracy

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