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Take a Chill Pill

Posted by Rick · September 4th, 2003 · 9 Comments

The Amish are pretty smart people. As one of them recently put things:

[I]f people start shooting people for throwing tomatoes, this country’s in bad shape. – Wayne Miller, an Amish man from Kidron, quoted in “Man Killed in Amish tomato-tossing prank” on CNN.com.

Even Amish kids need to misbehave once in awhile. To that end, there is a yearly “prank” that Amish kids play. Yep, the disciplined Amish are even disciplined to the point of scheduling their pranks.

Every year, they hide out in cornfields near the road and throw tomatoes at passing cars. In a rare bow to technology (the Amish are notorious about rejecting modern technology; they still use horses and buggies—would that we were all a little bit Amish), they sometimes use paintball guns.

This year, some middle-aged, tomato-brained, Lincoln or Cadillac driver—no doubt distraught over the recent death of Charles Bronson—decided he’d had enough. Figuring that carrying a loaded shotgun in his car so far from Texas was undesirable, he unloaded it into the cornfield.

Seriously, folks, isn’t it about time we start to get a grip on ourselves? Since when were tomato-throwing Amish youth so dangerous that shooting them was the only way to stop them? Isn’t life difficult enough without going bonkers over a veggie-bonking?

I think we all need to take a bit of a chill pill. Maybe take a lesson from Arnold Schwarzenegger, who didn’t even flinch recently when pelted with an egg by an ignorant demonstrator. (Sorry, I don’t care if you like Arnie or not—personally, I’m still undecided, but only because the other choices are no better—pelting people with food is ignorant and childish. Mature adults don’t start food fights. Leave that to the Amish kids; the rest of you have SuperMario or Doom or whatever the latest video bloodfest may be.)

Your Assignment: Try to be nice to someone today.

Categories: The Decline of America


9 responses so far ↓

  • 1 joe // Sep 4, 2003 at 11:53 am

    Just when you thought the American justice system could not be trumped in silliness…..

    Please take a moment and look at the Columnists page in today’s (9/4) Fresno Bee. Article is in the far right column (no associated meaning intended).

    I saw an article which may be the mother of all lawsuits. The Egyptians are suing the Jews (that’s all Jews all over the world) for everything stolen when they left Egypt 4,000 years ago. They’ll even give the Jews 1,000 years to pay it all back (with interest).

    I’ll bet you don’t believe me.

    I read the article at lunch and thought that the columnist would have a link on the webpage.

    Ooops, bad thought.

    PS this should get at least ONE new picture of Bunny on the site, shouldn’t it?

  • 2 Winkola // Sep 4, 2003 at 12:03 pm

    It may be that there are going to be new pictures posted in the future as Bunny is quite proud of her new golf bag.

    But, not knowing who you are, should we be concerned about web-stalking? 😉

    P.S. You can post URLs into your comments if you want and it will make it easier to find things you reference. Thanks!

  • 3 joe // Sep 4, 2003 at 12:05 pm

    Point taken. I’m not a stalker, just having fun. Please tell Bunny not to be scared.

    Here’s a link that should scare you ….


  • 4 Winkola // Sep 4, 2003 at 12:13 pm

    Joe, can’t find the link to the Egyptians v. Jews lawsuit you referenced. (And, of course, I can’t e-mail you at your bogus address to ask for more info.)

    The Jihad in the Schools article is, indeed, scary. It may be something I want to write about sometime (soon?). I’m slowing down a bit right now because I’m stuck reading (ugh) tax law. It’s hard to imagine anything more boring to read. It’s like reading a math book with occasional words thrown in for distraction.

    I’m also looking at a possible redesign of the website. I want to include some connections to other resources that mutually benefit me and visitors to the site. (For example, people who want to buy books online anyway can help support this site by buying through one of my links. Or by making donations.) It would be nice to find a way to defray the nearly $100/month payment for this Internet link.

  • 5 Harry // Sep 4, 2003 at 12:27 pm


    I thought that was sorted out by Alexander a couple of millenia ago. The plaintiffs, on hearing the defendants counter-arguements, asked for three days to formulate a response but never returned to the court.

    I believe the story is in Sanhedrin 91a.

  • 6 joe // Sep 4, 2003 at 12:32 pm


    You’re poor eyes must be crossing reading tax law. I mentioned in my email that there was no link to the story, that you would have to actually read the paper to find this story.

    Thanks, Harry for finding the article. It makes the Ten Commandments event in Alabama look sane, doesn’t it?

    Rick, make sure you tell Bunny everything is cool, that I was only kidding with you.

    And as far as the bogus email address, you never guessed who I was so it will stay bogus….

  • 7 Winkola // Sep 4, 2003 at 1:31 pm

    1) I’m not concerned about the bogus address (I would be if you turned out to be “a bad guy”). I just meant that I had no way except through the blog to talk to you.

    2) My eyes must really be crossing. I don’t see that Harry found any link, unless you’re reading between the lines to think he read the article. I didn’t see that he did; only that he thought the issue you mentioned was settled long ago.

    3) I thought you said it was in the “far right” column. So that’s what crossed me eyeballs.

    4) Harry, the problem is that that was then; this is now. You haven’t been watching American politics enough or you’d know we’re developing our own parliamentary system—somewhat like the one over in “Great” Britain. 😉 You don’t like a decision? NO PROBLEM! New court! New election! New districts! Why wait for regular elections (or, in the case of redistricting, censuses)? Just throw out whoever made the decision you didn’t like!

    After all it’s not YOUR money that’s being wasted this way, it’s the GOVER…oh, wait. 😉

    Besides, I doubt the Sanhedrin decision is binding since it would be somehow considered to be part of the problem; they didn’t rule against the Jews. 😉

    P.S. “joe@joe.com” is kinda bland. I think you should change it to “smeagal@lotr.com” or something more fitting. 😉

    P.S.S. Must be something in my eye. Lots of involuntary winking going on….

  • 8 YouDontKnow // Sep 4, 2003 at 2:06 pm

    You’ve stopped guessing so this is less fun. Does a new email address spark your interest yet?


    AKA someone from your past….how intruiging….

  • 9 Winkola // Sep 5, 2003 at 7:20 am

    Well, as you know, there’s not enough information for me to make even the start of a guess. At 45, I’ve met thousands of people in my lifetime and known hundreds of them well enough to consider friends during the time I knew them. Some of them periodically return to yank my chain. 😉

    And I’m not jumping too excitedly at the bait because I learned long ago where to expend energies and I seldom expend them now on anything that appears to be futile. It’s very Zen-like (but you understand Zen, so I shouldn’t have to explain). Where there aren’t enough facts upon which to begin building a hypothesis, only O’Reilly and his kind can build a hypothesis.

    And the trade for facts you offered didn’t seem quite…well, appropriate…

    That last comment might come out as offensive; it certainly isn’t meant that way. All indications so far are that you’re a friendly bogey.

    But you’re a bogey nonetheless. 😉

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