Unspun Logo

Apathy & The School of Christian Fish

Posted by Rick · August 2nd, 2003 · No Comments

From the Information Clearing House, which purports to bring news you won’t find on CNN:

In a stunning development, the Bush Regime announced its unconditional and abject surrender in Iraq this week.

I’ve said this irk a lot of people. He never ceases promoting the idea of America as a christian nation, even though there are multitudes of sinne…I mean Jews, Buddhists, and other assorted heath…er, American citizens. Like me.

His latest thing is that we need some way of creating a law to make sure there will never be any marriage except that recognized by his version of the Supreme Being because gays are, after all, sinners, just a little more so than the rest of us, who are also sinners. Nevermind the old Church and State problem. Nevermind that not all American citizens hold the same religious beliefs. (And think about it, seriously, you should be saying, “Nevermind what I actually think about gay marriages. The problem is the Church and State issue and the misuse of it to shift attention off what’s really happening.”) The only beliefs that matter are those followed by christians. The same christians for whom g-d is so all-important and permeates so much of their lives that he protects them from injury when they cut me off in traffic. I know it’s them, because their damned fish keep scraping my paint as they squeeze their way in. No legs on those fish. And that’s more than appropriate, because for 99.999% of the so-called christians who want to shove their religious beliefs down the throats of the rest of us, g-d’s only purpose is to reinforce their position of power within the world. (Not at all unlike the mayor of Pleasantville, who denied what he was really like and only fled when he actually changed color in front of everyone. )

How quickly we forget the words of John Leland (1754-1841), a Baptist minister who worked, like the Jew-Boy of the christians (Jesus, for those of you who just put the fish on your cars because your friends were doing it and it looks kewl) to keep the moneychangers and others who perverted religious beliefs out of the business of religion. Leland was responsible for many of the successes of Madison and Jefferson. (Note to conservatives: These were two people who are frequently counted as being among the Founding Fathers of the United States of America.)

Never promote men who seek after a state-established religion; it is spiritual tyranny–the worst of despotism. It is turnpiking the way to heaven by human law, in order to establish ministerial gates to collect toll. It converts religion into a principle of state policy, and the gospel into merchandise. Heaven forbids the bans of marriage between church and state; their embraces therefore, must be unlawful. Guard against those men who make a great noise about religion, in choosing representatives. It is electioneering. If they knew the nature and worth of religion, they would not debauch it to such shameful purposes. If pure religion is the criterion to denominate candidates, those who make a noise about it must be rejected; for their wrangle about it, proves that they are void of it. Let honesty, talents and quick despatch, characterise the men of your choice. Such men will have a sympathy with their constituents, and will be willing to come to the light, that their deeds may be examined. . . .

But Bush resists any examination of his deeds. And his followers say that those who criticize him should shut up, leave the country, or be killed. They are, we’re told, treasonous haters of freedom. (Ironic, given that it’s freedom we’re complaining is being stripped away. Ironic, that to maintain and support freedom, we’re told we have no freedom to speak or criticize. It must be the mercury in the fish.)

Nevertheless, g-d is with George Bush. He is, after all, the preacher-in-chief of this great fish-loving nation.

This is the only reason I can come up with for why they continue to ignore the irresponsibility of this administration. This is the only reason I can imagine why they see him as a man of g-d instead of comparing him to Nero fiddling while Rome burned. (Incidentally, I particularly like the quote there that says, “I saw one of those bumper stickers that said ‘I’m not a cowboy, I just found the hat’ and I thought that some people needed one that said, ‘I am not a Christian, I just found the cross.'”) This is the only reason I can see for the apathy. That’s the only reason I can see for ignoring Bush’s own record budget deficits reported by Tom Brokaw.

Maybe it’s just the fish. I don’t know. But something stinks.

Categories: The Decline of America


0 responses so far ↓

  • There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.

Leave a Comment