I’ve got an idea and I think it’s a pretty good one, too. My wife isn’t so sure.

You see, I need to find some way to make a little more money. So I’m thinking of starting a chicken farm. At first, I was really stumped, though, as to how I was going to protect my chickens from all you thievin’ varmints out there.

Then, it hit me. Americans respond best to fear.

So what I’m going to do is to get me a couple scary-looking crafty-eyed mean-spirited foxes and put them in charge of my chicken farm.

“We believe driving is not easily changeable for most people,” said Geoff Sundstrom, a spokesman for the automobile group AAA. He said leisure driving represents a relatively small amount of miles driven. Most of the driving is for going to and from work, shopping and other daily activities, he said. — Pump Shock — Get Used to It” (April 7, 2005) CBS News.

In other words, the President and Vice-President of the United States — who just coincidentally happen to be oilmen — have us by the balls. That’s why the CBS News article is titled “Pump Shock — Get Used to It” and not “Soaring Gasoline Prices — What Should Be Done About It?”

With crude oil prices at record highs in recent weeks and still close to them, the White House is casting itself as immersed in addressing the problem. It is using the increase in oil and gasoline prices to raise the pressure on Congress to pass Mr. Bush’s stalled energy bill, which the administration says would encourage domestic oil exploration and production, support alternative energy sources and improve conservation. — Richard W. Stevenson and Matthew L. Hald, “U.S. Report Sees Gasoline Prices Moving Higher Still” (April 8, 2005) New York Times.

“Immersed”?! Whoa! I’m going to need more foxes! The two in the White House are crafty, indeed!

Let me see if I have this straight. For years, the oilmen in America have been drooling over two possibilities:

1. The chance that Americans will get used to $4 or $5 per gallon for gasoline, like they have in Europe, and
2. They get to drill right here in America, even if it means destroying wilderness areas. No more buying from foreigners. No more long trips across the Atlantic.

Americans are paying record prices because — for the two decades in a row — “the demand for gasoline surpasses the supply; we just don’t have enough production capacity.” They built some gasoline production facilities. They just can’t figure out how to build more. Meanwhile,

The consumers groups say Americans have been forced to pay more than $250 billion in price hikes since January 2000 for gasoline and natural gas, resulting in an increase in after-tax profits of $50 to $80 billion. — “Record Prices, Record Oil Industry Profits, Consumers Groups Report” (May 11, 2004) The Business Journal.

And this isn’t some stray story, some blip, reported by only one business newspaper. ConsumersUnion.org reports that the first nine months of 2004, oil industry profits went up by 35 percent over the last year. Thirty-five percent! Can you imagine getting a 35 percent raise in your paycheck in one year?

We aren’t talking about small amounts of money, either.

For example, in just the first three months of 2001, ExxonMobil reported record profits of $5 billion; Chevron, $1.6 billion; and Texaco, $833 million. — “Oil Companies, Making Record Profits,
Seek Environmental Rollbacks” (May 8, 2001) Environmental Media Services (last updated May 8, 2001; last visited April 8, 2005; emphasis added).

And remember, that was before the 35 percent increase in their profits. Just recently, “Exxon’s fourth-quarter earnings, at $8.42 billion, represented the highest quarterly income ever reported by an American firm.” (Michael T. Klare, “The Energy Crunch to Come” (2005) TomDispatch.com; also available at MotherJones and Common Dreams (emphasis added).)

“This is the most profitable company in the world,” declared Nick Raich, research director of Zacks Investment Research in Chicago. — Michael T. Klare, “The Energy Crunch to Come” (March 22, 2005) Common Dreams.

And that problem with production?

U.S. Energy Department data earlier in the week showed that the nation’s gasoline production jumped 5.2 percent last week to its highest level this year and that the country’s gasoline stockpiles were 5.7 percent higher than a year earlier. — “Oil Prices Drop More Than $1 a Barrel” (April 8, 2005) CBS News.

I have a question. And the problem is that whenever I ask, people get angry at me. I’m really not trying to get people angry. At least not at me. A little anger right now might be a Good Thing™ — but I’m the wrong target.

Here’s the question: ARE AMERICANS STUPID?

There are two oilmen in the White House. The oil industry secretly met with the Vice-President to decide on the Energy Policy for the United States. Oil company executives created the U.S. Oil Policy that is followed now by the Bush Administration. This has resulted in oil prices that are making life difficult for a growing number of Americans. Meanwhile, profits have never been higher than now for the oil companies. And they want us to let them drill in our last remaining wilderness spaces so they can make even more profits.

Any chance we’ll start to understand why the old adage says “Don’t let the fox guard the henhouse”?