Well, it would be if it weren’t for things like this.

Yesterday was the first day I had an opportunity to get out into the community. With law school and a full-time job, I usually have a quite limited circuit: Wake up in the morning around 6 to 6:30 a.m., drive the approximately 10 miles from my house to work; if I get out around 5ish, I drive back home for quick meal before trundling off to school; if I’m stuck a little later, I go straight to the school without going home. School is exactly two miles from my house, in the direction of my office. So I pretty much have a particular path that I run back and forth on every day, like a 230 lbs, 5’11” hamster. And just like a hamster, I occasionally get bored with that trick, so I run between my two (or three) end points by going down a different street once in awhile.

But I digress. Yesterday was the first day to get any Hanukkah shopping in. And it didn’t take long to realize something: We’re not hamsters. We’re rats. And the maze is much more complex than my daily exercise of the last couple years has lead me to believe. And the other rats are nasty, mean, and you better think twice before driving near a parking spot they decided they want.

But if Time Magazine’s “Does Kindergarten Need Cops?” is any indication, that appears to be the kind of world we want in America.