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Cause of Death: G-d

Posted by Rick · January 6th, 2006 · No Comments

Apparently, the only people who die these days are people G-d hates.

How do I know this? Because Pat Robertson said so.

As some of our more astute readers — you two know who you are — are aware, Israel’s Prime Minister Ariel Sharon recently had a stroke and is said to be in a coma. His political career, regardless of what else happens, is virtually certainly over.

This isn’t the first time, of course, that Robertson has notified us of G-d’s answering prayers by killing someone, or G-d stepping in sua sponte to kill them, or just that Robertson thought that G-d (or someone, hint-hint) should kill them. Remember Hugo Chavez? Remember the Supreme Court?

And Robertson has been fond of pointing out how G-d answers his prayers whenever something goes “his” way. Sharon’s sad fate is just the latest incident Robertson has directly ascribed to G-d’s vindictiveness. It’s a little odd, though, that you never hear about G-d’s vindictiveness when someone like, oh, the Pope, dies. I mean, the Pope did die, right? And even some of Robertson’s followers have heart attacks, strokes, cancer, terminal accidents and illnesses and die, right?

Sadly for Robertson, Sharon has had surgery and is said to be “improving.”

No word from Robertson on whether this means G-d is changing his mind, or if he’s just an incompetent hitman.

Categories: Religion


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