…to figure this out.

It’s interesting, though, to learn that what makes me a liberal and only 2% Republican is saying these things….

A woman’s place is…in the House. And the Senate.

Daggone wimmen’s libber! What’s wrong with me? Given that some of the other options were “at my feet, screaming for mercy” and “in a House, such as Madame Kitty’s Home for Wayward Girls (gentlemen visitors welcome),” I thought I did pretty good.

Taxes: The rich should contribute more because it hurts them less.

I didn’t choose “Stamp out the rich!” nor it’s opposite “The rich should be exempt, and the poor should be shot!” And I’m sorry, folks, but what’s wrong with the rich contributing more to help build our roads that suffer damage from their heavy SUVs and limousines? What’s wrong even if they contribute to social programs (gasp!) and lose some interest because they only have a few million instead of a few million plus $500,000 if it keeps someone at the lower end of the scale from starving, or allows more people an education? Are the rich really more valuable, so that it’s okay to let the poor die just so the rich can see larger numbers on their bank statements? Do you really think they “earned” it just because they managed to charge you $3/gallon for gasoline and you paid it because you had no choice?

The Bush family is…the most successful crime family in history.

Well, that one I couldn’t help. It’s just flat-out true.

Hitler…the ultimate Republican.

This one was a mess. I mean, frankly, it doesn’t really belong in there. But “brilliant but sadly deranged leader,” which would have been my next option, was just too namby-pamby. Besides, I don’t think Hitler was “brilliant” just because he was able to con people who already hated Jews into taking the extra step of killing them. And there are similarities between the early years of Hitler and the current years of Bush. Let’s just hope that’s as far as it ever goes.

Social Security is…the trojan horse which Congress has used to impose an ever more regressive overall tax rate.

I was going to pick “very reassuring to have around,” but then I realized that a lot of people may actually not know how the Republicans have been using Social Security as a distraction. They might even get the President’s non-plan plan to pass, but I think even they know otherwise. (I mean — come on! — although he was pushing his “plan” and even though his own website had a page saying “His fiscally-responsible plan calls for reforms that would keep Social Security’s promises…” he says “I don’t have a plan”?)

Israelis vs. Palestinians. Holy crap, what do we do? …

Uh…only one answer made any sense at all: “Calm everybody down, help mediate negotiations, and keep the oil flowing smoothly.” Even that wasn’t so hot since it required me to agree that the real goal is to “keep the oil flowing smoothly” instead of promoting a lasting peace.

Is the media biased?

I was sooooooo tempted to go with “That’s ‘Are the media biased’, you ungrammatical buffoon.” Instead, I wimped out and settled for the truth: “Blatantly. The spread of ‘fair and balanced’ Faux News-ism is turning the whole broadcast industry into an extention of talk radio hate propaganda.”

Global warming, pollution, endangered species… What do we do for our poor planet?

Now, I could have been a total left-wing fruitcake here, huh? I could have said, “Go solar!” But, nooooooo, I took the sane route and suggest that we target the real problem: “Bring corporate privilege and corruption under control; hold people accountable for harm they do to the environment.” I guess that’s what makes me 98% not-Republican, eh?

Lastly, Ronald Reagan was…a senile puppet.

Now this one was rigged. I mean, really, none of the other choices made sense at all. I didn’t actually hate Reagan, although in retrospect I see how he was the start of the slide that has ruined the country. (Well, actually, Nixon was, but he was handled. Uh…differently than Reagan and Bush, who have official handlers.) But seriously, “a visionary leader who left an indelible stamp on history”? “[T]he hero who saved the world”? I don’t think so. With choices like that, I had nowhere to go but “senile puppet.”

I guess that shouldn’t really bother me so much. Given what’s happened to the Republican Party — of which, long ago, I was a registered member — the only real question here is: “How the hell do I get rid of that extra 2%?”