My father is a real clown sometimes. Those who know me well enough to see me clown around — and, frankly (sadly), there aren’t many of those folks around — know I get that straight from him.

This often led to unexpected funny episodes, like the time we were all sitting at the dinner table at N.A.S. Lemoore, where he was stationed and — I honestly don’t remember now what caused him to do this, but — he picked up the phone, said, Hello, Ma!? very loudly, and hung up the phone. A minute later, the phone rang. It was some officer from the base — a chaplain he was working on something with, I think — and he told my dad, “The oddest thing just happened when I tried to call you . . . . ”

My dad’s that kind of guy.

But he’s not half as funny as George Bush, because when my dad was acting the clown, he was acting the clown on purpose. He never accidentally sounded loony; his looniness was deliberately geared towards getting a laugh.

For example, I remember another thing my dad used to do a lot. It’s a joke I use with kids sometimes, because it really makes them laugh.

Sometimes, we’d play like we were fighting and I would punch him. He’d say, “If you do that again, I’m gunna hit your sister!” Of course, we’d all burst into giggles and I’d hit him again, whereupon he would playfully punch my sister, causing us all to shriek and double over with laughter.

The New York Times tonight reports on the first Kerry-Bush “debate.” I was in Federal Courts class at the law school, learning how silly the Supreme Court can be, so I haven’t seen the debate yet. My wife taped it and I’ll watch it later — after I’m sedated enough so that I don’t become too upset over the sad stupidity of Kerry and the dangerous stupidity of Bush. But, at any rate, a paragraph of the New York Times story jumped out and grabbed me by the throat:

At another point, Mr. Bush said that he went to war in Iraq because “the enemy attacked us, Jim, and I have a solemn duty to protect the American people to do everything I can to protect us.” Adam Nagourney, Bush Sees a Safer America, While Kerry Sees a ‘Colossal Error’, The New York Times (online) p. 2, ¶ 6 (September 30, 2004).

If Bush were my father — oy! there’s got to be some kabbalic curse I can use to ward off that thought! — and if I were a child, I might be doubled over right now, shrieking with laughter.

P.S. Ignore the fact that he didn’t go to war — our sons and daughters did.