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A Day In The Life Of Joe Republican

Posted by Rick · October 6th, 2004 · No Comments

Well, I was up until after 3 a.m. and just now crawled out of bed (I think it’s about 10:30 a.m., but I might be dreaming). I’ve got two appeals now — and one of them is on a tight deadline — so there won’t be an original blog entry today.

Mark King forwarded today’s piece, written by someone else. I don’t know who wrote it, but it’s a doozy. Don’t forget to check out some of the links in this article — like all the articles I write, the links provide more background on the issue being discussed. For those saddened that I haven’t written more lately, the links about serfs and the Dark Ages go to other articles written by me.

Why? Because — as my British readers might say — “it’s spot on.”

Several articles on the overtime pay issue can be found here. For those who don’t know, President Bush not only did take away overtime pay from millions of people, he did it by using the regulatory process so that he did not need to seek congressional approval. Labor Secretary Elaine Chao (i.e., an unelected regulatory official) even refused a request by Republican Sen. Arlen Specter to delay implementation of the overtime pay protection cuts. In fact, the U.S. Senate twice voted (1/20/2004 & 9/10/2004) to block changes in overtime eligibility regulations, but in the House of Representatives, Republican leaders initially refused to even allow it to come up for debate. Makes you wonder who they’re representing, doesn’t it?

One thing that struck me while reading this is that in addition to all the above, enough time may have passed now that people have forgotten things. The sentence that really brought that home was concerning “lazy liberal union members” who “fought and died” for many of the things we enjoy today in the workplace — like only having to work 40 hours a week before overtime kicks in. Oops! My bad! Didn’t George Bush just take that away again?

At any rate, there was a time when strikers really did risk more than their jobs — they risked death by beating, shooting and other measures intended to get the American serfs back to work. I’m sure, though, that the serfs will . . . oh, they’ll probably cave in for another round of the Dark Ages.

So, without further ado, as I run out the door to the law library, I give you a day in the life of Joe Republican (written by some unknown person):

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance — now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed,he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous
bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans.

The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”

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