Ms. Claus was a hit
at DAK’s Christmas Party!

This morning, I’d like to wish all my readers who celebrate Christmas a Very Merry one!

As you surely must know by now, I don’t personally celebrate Christmas, because I’m a Jew. But my wife and I use that as an opportunity to help our friends and acquaintances celebrate the holiday.

For example, last year, I participated in the San Joaquin College of Law Alumni Association — I’m not yet an alum myself! — Christmas entertainment for the children then staying at the Marjoree Mason Center, which is a shelter for battered women. The Alumni throw a party sometime during each Christmas period for the children and mothers displaced by men who haven’t progressed beyond the troglodyte stage. The kids are given Christmas presents and have an opportunity to meet and play with different characters such as Scoopy the Bee, Santa Claus and sometimes another local celebrity.

Last week, I was supposed to be Scoopy again. But when I arrived, I found that Santa had been hurt, and the SJCL Alumni were trying to get ahold of the costume — and someone to fill it. Coincidentally, my friend Dale and his wife Sandy had purchased me a Santa costume so “Santa” could visit their family on Christmas Eve. So I called my lovely wife, Denise Chaffee, and had her bring the costume to the party. We pressed someone else into service as Scoopy and the show was on!

Kopi Sotiropulos says,
“I was good, too, Santa!”

This year, Kopi Sotiropulos, the weatherman from the local Channel 26 News Team, was present — pardon the pun! — to assist in entertaining the kids and helping Santa (me!) pass out the gifts. Later that night, we got the special treat of seeing the SJCL Alumni — and Santa — singing “Jingle Bells” on KMPH!

Santa and Kopi weren’t the only ones having fun, though. The kids had a wonderful time, too. We just can’t show you any pictures of them because of the fact that we don’t want to embarrass them — or let their dads know where they are. I’m told some of these families come from other states, because it’s the only way they can be safe from their crazy fathers.

Kopi is a terrific guy, especially with kids. Santa, on the other hand, is apparently not-so-hot according to Ms. Claus. After the celebrating was over, the first thing she said to him was, “‘Deploy’? ‘Deploy’? What do little kids know from ‘deploy’?” (Santa, in explaining how busy things were this year, had mentioned that he and the elves might need to “deploy” a few extra sleighs.)

Kopi films San Joaquin College of Law Alumni & Santa singing “Jingle Bells” for the Channel 26 10 o’clock news.
(The kids in the foreground are grayed out to protect their identity from their scummy fathers.)

On Christmas Eve, Saint NRick paid a visit to the home of a couple of his friends and handed out presents to all the kids. Then, on the way home, “Santa” dropped in on a couple of fast food restaurants and took a stroll down the street, stopping at neighbors’ homes to wish them all, as I wish you now,