The dangerously high level of the stupidity surplus was once again the lead story in The Owl that morning….

The reason for the crisis was clear: Prime Minister Redmond van de Poste and his ruling Commonsense Party had been discharging their duties with a reckless degree of responsibility that bordered on inspired sagacity. Instead of drifting from one crisis to the next and appeasing the nation with a steady stream of knee-jerk legislation and headline-grabbing but arguably pointless initiatives, they had been resolutely building a raft of considered long-term plans that concentrated on unity, fairness and tolerance. It was a state of affairs deplored by Mr. Alfredo Traficcone, leader of the opposition Prevailing Wind Party, who wanted to lead the nation back onto the safer grounds of uninformed stupidity.

The above is an excerpt from Chapter 1 of the novel Thursday Next, First Among Sequels by Jasper Fforde. I enjoy an “invigorating romp” (Associated Press) and an “impossibly winning book” (Newsday) as much as the next reader, love his use of language, his characters and his amazing creativity with the plot, but when I read the first couple of pages from this novel, it made me want to weep for our country. I couldn’t help comparing what I was reading to the hilarious hijinks which pass for informed planning and execution in the executive branch of our government.

Using the scenario above as a basis for thought, America is currently in a stupidity deficit of staggering proportions. In the past 8 years we have used up all the stupidity for my lifetime and most probably our children’s and grandchildren’s stupidity as well. Can you imagine a world where children won’t twirl around until they’re so dizzy they puke? Where teens on a Minneapolis January weekend won’t touch their tongues to street signs to see if they will really freeze onto the metal? The way our politicians are using up all the stupidity, these and the countless other small acts of personal stupidity will be history – perhaps even apocryphal anecdotes we tell our grandchildren about “Back when I was a child….”

I don’t need to point to specifics – anyone who has lived through the past 8 “W” years can compile a list. And who even wants a list? That would just be further stupidity – adding to our deficit!

The problem is even larger than this, however, when one considers our stupidity trade deficit. Countries around the world are amazed by our free-wheeling use of stupidity – as if the stuff is a renewable resource!

Now the Prevailing Wind Party – er, Republicans, have put Sarah Palin on the ticket as their choice for a Vice-Presidential candidate. I say it’s time for one awe-inspiring, blockbuster, gigantic “Mother-of-all Acts-of-Common-Sense” to put our stupidity deficit back into balance, and save our country, and possibly the world – VOTE OBAMA.

Think of all the dizzy kids, crazy teenagers, drunken rednecks in this country, and countless others around the world who need your help in order to have a future of guaranteed moments of stupidity, and do the right thing on November 4. Put stupidity back into the hands of the individual!