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Relax, We’re Just Neutralizing You

Posted by Rick · September 28th, 2004 · No Comments

Jon Stewart has a show on Comedy Central — The Daily Show — that I guess is essentially political commentary. Although I’ve seen it a couple times, I don’t often watch it, so forgive my ignorance on that score.

“Ignorant,” though, is essentially what Bill O’Reilly recently said the viewers of that show were. Actually, he said they were “stoned slackers.” Losers of the worst kind, dontchaknow.

Turns out it ain’t so.


The Nielsen people — you know, the ones that help television studio executives analyze audiences inside and out so they can make sure TV sitcoms never target people with collective IQs over 70 — determined that The Daily Show viewers were more likely to have completed four years of college than O’Reilly’s folks. You might say The O’Reilly Factor — the dictionary defines “factor” as “something (as an element, circumstance, or influence) that contributes to the production of a result” — is lack of education.

Fox “News” spokesman Rob Zimmerman, when he heard that there was some offense and concern over the characterization of Daily Show viewers as “stoned slackers” said everyone needed to chill out. “Relax,” he said.

Personally, I love this approach of the Republicans. I think perhaps this is one tack Democrats really ought to adopt.

Republicans have become masters at discrediting people by lying or name-calling and then, when their targets complain about such unethical treatment, or (worse) become angry or upset, they get to say, “Relax.” Or they point to them and say, “Wow. Look at that guy! Sure, we essentially stole the election from him. We smeared his name. We told lies about him so often and drowned him out such that people think he’s a clown instead of someone who was successful until we slandered him. And look at him! He’s attacking back! He’s getting worked up! He’s lost it man. He’s over the top! See what a crazy man he is? He’s actually trying to defend himself!”

I don’t go for the name-calling and such. Just point out the truth. Republicans are, frankly, stupid. Half the rocks on this planet are more intelligent. The collective IQ of the organized Republicans in the Central San Joaquin Valley almost matches the collective IQ of the crops they grow here. After all, you don’t see the plants rejoicing that they’re being lovingly cared for by farmers only to ensure they’re fit to be eaten; but I know Republicans who are tickled pink that George Bush charged the National Credit Card — the one their taxes will pay interest on and the one their children will work their asses off for — for several billion dollars and sent them a check for $600. Where’d the rest go? “Why should I care, man? No other President ever gave me back $600.”

As we spread that message about Republican stupidity, most of them aren’t so stupid that they won’t find this offensive. So just remind them to take a chill pill. After all, if they can sit still for what the Bush Administration has done to them, they can sit still for the rest of the country using them as examples of why — more so than brains — a country is a terrible thing to waste.

Special thanks to Bob Marcotte for pointing me to Stewart’s ‘stoned slackers’? Not quite.

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